take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
