Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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