I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
