Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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