dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
porn star boner night. come get it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
