Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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