What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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