update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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