You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Only a mothe r could love this liver
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
