Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
