They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize