Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
