Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Holy sore nipples Batman
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
