6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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