it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
