Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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