What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
