So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
