I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize