I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
