she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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