Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.