Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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