people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
