I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
