He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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