i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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