So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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