i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
