if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
