Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
