It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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