ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Are we still banned from the library?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?