I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
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test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
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He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?