Your tits are I can't wait for
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain