Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
