I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
