you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
