Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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