Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize