dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i need some magic done to my vagina
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
