69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize