I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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