; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
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It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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