I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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