i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
