I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
