Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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