As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
