She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
