I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
