his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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