What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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