so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just high enough for therapy.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize