So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
