So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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