Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
