you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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